With each look of the clock in summer’s early morning glow, I tick off another day until I return to the place that cultivates my authentic self. This anticipation, it keeps me sated among the dishes and dust, sweltering heat and heavy sighs of youth.
I long for first morning’s glance at the glassy lake glowing foggy mist at sunrise, to hear the faint lapping of water from a brood of ducklings swimming formation behind their mother. The smell of buttermilk pancakes and blueberries sputtering on the griddle mixed with the aromatic curls of French roast.
We welcome the twenty-two hours squeezed cozy in our mini-van, just to walk through the squeaky screen door of family roots on a lake in Canada. To the cottage nestled in pines, walls hanging with generations of laughter.
But while I measure time by chronos (the clock) until I return, God measures time by kairos (God time). And I wonder if my longing for kairos by looking at the clock is like walking conveyor belt through life. I’m mentally stuck in today, preoccupied with tomorrow.
Because kairos, it happens regardless of chronological time.
“In kairos we are completely unselfconscious, and yet paradoxically far more real than we can ever be when we are constantly checking our watches for chronological time.” Madeline L’Engle, Walking on Water
How do we find kairos in the midst of the to-do lists of everyday? Wrap our arms around his neck and pull Him close, feel His breath on the crown of our head.
My son scavenges beneath the lake surface for clams, skipping them wildly on top of the water. I lose sense of time in a book on shores edge, on a quick, mid-day walk under Live Oaks, sipping tea under an umbrella of chirping of birds on my back porch before the family awakens. Sometimes the only thing to bring me back to the clock is the grumbling of my stomach.
How do you find kairos?
Because when we lose ourselves, unaware of time this way, our soul returns to its authentic state among the clamor of life’s distraction. We become alert to life as we live it, unlike proselytizing time with our to-do lists.
My Rwandan friend, Archbishop Emmanuel Kolini says, “Americans have clocks, and Rwandans have time.” What he means is this sense of identity we find in our productivity – the checks on our to-do list that make us feel good about ourselves – can actually be the very thing keeping us from revealing our authentic self. And aren’t we all desperate to know who we are?
It’s time to remember. Just close your eyes for a moment. There you are, see your reflection in the mirrored pools of His gaze? It’s like taking the first breathe of life all over again.
While I’m dreaming of no makeup days and wearing a swimsuit until sunset, I’m closing my eyes while my hands soak in a sink full of sudsy plates. I’m finding myself reflected there beside you and my heart beats a bit slower now as he cradles me in the crook of his arm.
Tell me, how do you experience kairos?
Shelly has two teens, a pastor husband, a trusty camera, and writing life on an island. Her redemptive stories will make you think differently about life. You can read more at Redemptions Beauty, www.redemptionsbeauty.com or connect with her @SMillerRB on Twitter.
Shelly Miller,
Writer
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Great post, Shelly! I did a bible study by Margaret Feinberg called Hungry For God where she discussed these 2 differences in time. I smiled when I read the quote from your Rwandan friend. I find the same thing to be true each time I’ve gone to the DR…it was called Dominican time…they knew how to seize and enjoy the moment!
Love Margaret Feinberg, she and I actually share this same Rwandan friend. Thanks for stopping by Eileen and hope you get a few moments of karios today.
Oh so beautiful, the words and pictures and I so want to be there too, in the quiet on the water listening to the sounds of peace. The stillness can teach us so much.
Your comment reminded me of a quote I read on http://www.healthyspirituality.org over the weekend: There is a huge silence inside each of us that beckons us into itself, and the recovery of our own silence
can begin to teach us the language of heaven.” Meister Eckhart
And I’m counting the days Sharon, only five days away from putting my feet in that lake water.
Time is a most precious gift. What we choose to do with it shape our lives. I definitely need more God time, myself.
I take time seriously, and I love your comment . . .what we do with it shapes our lives. So true. Hope you find some of that God time today Lisa.
Love pondering kairos with His thoughts higher than ours and one day is like a thousand of our years…”Walking on Water” in on my nightstand
I actually read Walking on Water at the lake last summer. I’m taking it with me again this year, I think it might be a tradition.
Beautiful, thought-provoking post as always, Shelly.
Thanks Beth, appreciate your leaving a comment.
I’m tempted to comment just so my name will show up in fancy script! Just kidding.
I wrote about chronos/kairos not long ago as well. I think my musician so, the one who always drives me crazy because he’s perpetually running late, has a much better sense of kairos, of the eternal.
Just the other day I mentioned to my husband that I’ve barely worn my watch all summer. I think summer is a thin place where I connect more closely to the eternal.
And–always lots of good stuff over at Jean Wise’s place, right? Great post, beautiful as usual, Shelly. Thanks for hosting her, Denise.
You always have a way of making me laugh Nancy. Doesn’t your name look lovely? I agree about summer being a thin place to connect with eternal. Mark Buchanan describes the season as low hanging fruit everywhere, the season of enjoying the bounty and the blessings, so much so that we almost forget that is what they are. And it can be that kind of season in the heart as well. Love that your not wearing a watch btw.
I wanna see my name in script, too! But mostly, I just want to wish you a wonderful time away – filled with long, slow, lazy days and NO to-do lists. We north Americans have even managed to make our spiritual life about list-checking somehow, seldom stopping to just BE with God, always feeling the need to read one more chapter, maintain one more prayer list, attend one more church function….what we need is to just sit still and celebrate God in the moment. May you have many such moments, Shelly.
Diana, I think wise should be your middle name. You’re so right about the list checking. Why is it so hard for us to just BE, not DO. Our mission team to Rwanda had the most trouble with settling into the sacrament of presence more than anything else. They wanted a list of tasks to check off every day and when they didn’t get them we watched everyone squirm and complain. I truly am looking forward to doing a whole lot of nothing. Thank you.
Oh, Shelly!
Thank you for the comparison between Chronos and Kairos.
This is so beautiful.. I am glad you got time to get over to Canada. Is it cooler down by the lake?
I love this:
“I’m finding myself reflected there beside you and my heart beats a bit slower now as he cradles me in the crook of his arm.”
That should be my wished-for Kairos-instead of a panting heart.
Lolita, you make me smile every.single.day. Love your heart that longs to follow Him in all things. Thank you for joining the conversation here my friend.
I am so guilty of losing track of time, of using what I need and frustrating my husband because it seems I have no sense of time. Maybe I’m living in kairos in those hours.
Thank you. Wishing you An Extraordinary Day.
I suppose there is a balance to all things, even time. But, I have to admit I admire people like you who aren’t bound by the clock.
Denise, thanks for letting me share your space today, its been a real pleasure. Fun to engage in conversation about how we spend time with God when we aren’t ruled by the clock.
Thank you Shelly for a delightful post, and I think you get an award for being a very engaging guest! It was my pleasure to have you today.
God bless!
“What he means is this sense of identity we find in our productivity – the checks on our to-do list that make us feel good about ourselves – can actually be the very thing keeping us from revealing our authentic self.”
These words are so true of me. I can easily slip into that mindset where I align my identity with my productivity. I’m a “do-er,” but I’ve found such freedom in simply “being” in His presence. Abiding in Him is the one thing He has asked of me. And, of course, His Word is true — when we seek Him first, all these “other things” will come, in His time. Kairos time.
Another beautiful post, Shelly.
Thank you, Denise, for sharing Shelly’s words with us here.
Welcome to the club of do-er’s Denise. I’ve won the award for trying to gain a sense of identity through what I do several years in a row and glad to hand it off to someone else.
I think its one of the greatest things I learned from the Rwandan’s, that our identity is not in what we do or have. Thanks so much.
Oh, this post, though it’s been open on my Safari tab for a couple of days now, I am just reading today. It is just what I needed to take me into my day. I love your writing and your heart. You have a way of weaving profound truth into beautifully, poetic prose. I love the quote from Madeline L’Engle, too. Perfect.