I see the pool of water — clean, blue — a puddle of heaven where He invites me to jump.
Life of the Father is not something grasped by completing a certain task, getting up at the required time, finding the right words. I ask Him to search my heart, let me know whether I am living like heaven is something I achieve. I search for connection with Him, expectant-waiting.
It is in not just the invitation, but in the actual jumping in with him that partnership begins. The living water never ends and I can’t touch bottom and there is nothing to do except trust. Receive His love and jump in: Liquid blue swirls overtaking me and I no longer need to breathe.
I began writing this blog to organize the emails I sent periodically to the Monday morning My Girls group I facilitate from my home. God was sharing such beauty with these women, and the emails were the scratched-out recordings of my heart connected with His.
I found His beauty in me — the water rippling in tiny waves — when I responded to His voice, His pattern-weaving-current sweeping me up. Water flowing out of me where I swam.
And now as these emails have become writing I do more often, on a website created to reach a larger community of His girls — the women He desires and adores with all His heart — I can get distracted and forget that these words are still His in me, my invitation to stay in the water, going where the current leads. I must continue to stay by His side if I want to swim.
I am tempted to care too much about the reception of these words by the readers — and, even, be worried about whether these words will be read at all. The end of this journey isn’t mine to see. I keep wanting to look ahead, see what is around the corner, what obstacles are going to be waiting around the bend that I will need to avoid. And I’m not swimming then, just treading water maybe, on my way to the bottom to sink.
Moments seeking Him, trusting that He reads the stirrings of my heart and knows what I need, brings me in to the sparkle blue water with Him. The adventure He invites me to go on with Him is no tranquil stroll along an organized, tamed flower path, where the brook ripples quietly and the fish jump in glee. It is often a hilarious and intense trip down the rapids, Jesus swimming with His Father’s might and holding me fast, or steering the raft as the waves crash and I grab tight. Jesus looks at me, laughing, eyes sparkling, and I am reminded I love this, this adventure with Him, and I know I am okay.
The adventure with Him is only fun — is only possible — when I am not in control. When my skin is drenched and my heart is racing and the current threatens to sweep me up but it doesn’t. Jesus says to jump in, “I will catch you.” And He does, and He teaches me how to swim.
How is He asking you to jump in with Him, and swim?
Jennifer Camp, voice finder and the wife of a heart warrior, in N. California, mothers three children and leads
My Girls, in her home on Monday mornings. She writes at her blog, You Are My Girls, where she writes to remember the truth of her identity in the Father’s eyes and to encourage other women to remember, too. Come on over to connect with her at You Are My Girls Community, on Facebook, or at twitter, JenniferCamp1